So Much Going On

I don't know where to begin! There's so much going on in my life I haven't had time to check in here at Bizarro-world.

I guess I'll start with today and go backwards. That's logical.

Today, I sat on the couch.

I know, I know...riveting. In the newspaper business, they teach you to start with your most fascinating or important fact. It really depends on if you're writing a feature or news story. Fortunately, I'm out of the newspaper business and I get to write any old way I want. Of course, I'm no longer getting paid, either. There are trade-offs.

I figure that since there are approximately 11 of you reading what I write here, you are truly dedicated to being interested in my life. Even the mundane. So, I thought it was high time I caught you up.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, sitting on the couch.

Well, I did do some other things today. I went to church, where, I have to admit, I felt extremely nauseous. Didn't have anything to do with the service, just me, I'm sure. Then we came home and I got Kent to agree to help me clean. This is big. Really big. He cleans even less than I do. I am not gifted in this area. He's less gifted. So, with his precious promise hanging in the air, I got jiggy wid it, as they say in my neighborhood. Had to strike while the iron was hot and all that.

All that cleaning reminded me that I had had an epiphany the other morning at 4 a.m. I had woken up and was having trouble returning to the land of nod. Instead of worrying, I decided to take another course. I decided to name my appliances.

My parents had been staying with us during the post-ice storm power outage and I had become quite accustomed to having company around. I'm a people person, see. I like having company. But I live in an empty nest and I work at a solitary, lonely job. So, while it was difficult for them, I was secretly happy to have them around. I'm some kind of daughter, huh? So unselfish.

Anyway, I knew that the time was coming that they would be leaving. I needed to prepare. I decided to personalize, give names to, the only things around here that talk to me (besides my ever-faithful Francie, who has an extensively developed language all her own).

I won't tell you the names of all of my appliances, but you might want to know that Tilde the dishwasher is not doing her job properly and may be out on the street before her time, if you know what I mean. Max, the microwave, is prompt, efficient and - dare I say ? - pretty hot! But, he can be a little persistent with this pesky beep of his. It can be a touch annoying on bad days. Then, there's Marco, Hildegard, Jack and Diane, Pedro, Rocky and Sally. I'll let you sort out who's who.

Mom and Dad have left. Kent's back at work and I'm just fine. I am. Really. I am.

I'm back on the couch and the doctor promises me that I'm fine.